Review: Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice (Spoiler Free)

Batman and Superman: Two of the most iconic, if not THE most iconic comic book super heroes of all time. It can be argued that they are some of America’s biggest pop culture icons. I think deep down, we all thought we would never see them in a movie together. But our fanboy prayers were answered, and Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice graced us with it’s presence. Being a massive Batman fan and huge fan of super hero movies, I was at the earliest showing possible.

I just got home from seeing this movie. I felt compelled to write this review as soon as possible, despite being exhausted. I went to see this with Marc (of Beyond the Cape fame, kids!) and after two and a half hours I looked at Marc and could only say one thing…

“That SUCKED”

I was shocked at how bad the movie was. In my mind, it could not fail. Two massive names finally fighting each other? How COULD it fail? Here is my theory of how this movie came together:

The Writers of the film enter the offices of Warner Bros executives

WRITERS: Sir! I have the final battle, and its awesome! Here it is.

EXEC: ::reads treatment:: Awesome work! Now just write the rest of the movie.

WRITERS: No problem. I just need a couple of months to figure out-

EXEC: No you have until the end of the day. Also, cut down this final battle.

WRITERS: But i won’t be able to-

EXEC: JUST FUCKING DO IT! AND PASS THE COCAINE ON THE WAY OUT!

Let me break down exactly where the movie went wrong in my opinion.

The Story

I honestly can’t really tell you what the movie is about. No, thats not because I want to avoid spoilers, its because I just can’t figure it out. I guess Batman wants to stop Superman, but they don’t make that the focal point of the story. It’s just… there…. This movie could have been SOMETHING. I feel like this was the first draft of the script and they just went with it. Someone definitely needed to do some fine tuning. There were no big reveals. Things were just shoehorned in, for reasons unknown. So many times I thought to myself “Oh so that’s just happening with no explanation huh…” I am trying my hardest to not compare it to The Dark Knight trilogy, but one reason that one worked so well is the big reveals (“I’m Batman!” etc). There was NONE of that. The only sort-of reveal was Wonder Woman, but for fuck’s sake this is the first time she has been on film. They could have given her a better reveal.

The Music

Music, to me, can really make a movie that much better. It is EXTREMELY rare for it to be one of the things that bring the movie down. This was one of those rare occasions. And this is HANS FUCKING ZIMMER. The guy who made the soundtrack to The Dark Knight trilogy, and that iconic Inception soundtrack. Even his Man of Steel soundtrack was beautiful. In fact, he could’ve just don’t more of the same from Man of Steel (remember, this is SUPPOSED to be a sequel to that movie, though you wouldn’t know it). Most of the time the music felt so out of place.

Superman’s Scenes

Let me be clear: I really liked Man of Steel, even though a lot of people didn’t. And i REALLY like Henry Cavill as Superman/Clark Kent. But the poor guy’s scenes have no substance in this movie. It’s hard to explain, but his story line just wasn’t there. It felt very much like the producers wanted to make a Batman movie, and they were forced to put Superman in it.

Redeeming Qualities

As much as this movie sucked, there were a few bright spots. For example I was right about one thing. Back when Ben Affleck was announced as the next Batman/Bruce Wayne,  the internet hemmed and hawed. I was one of the few people who defended him and said he was going to be an amazing Batman. He was amazing in the sense that his acting was perfect, and he is the best Bruce Wayne yet. However he is in a terrible movie. Imagine if Tom Hanks were in a Twilight movie. Even HE wouldn’t be able to save it, and so is the case here. And (I’m really trying hard to not give away any spoilers) the writers fucked up one major part of the character, and I don’t know if there is any coming back from it. It was literally uncomfortable.

Gal Gadot was very good as Wonder Woman. Hopefully when she gets her solo movie, they do the character justice.

Jeremy Irons was a great Alfred. As much as I love Sir Michael Caine (if he isn’t knighted, he should be) I like Alfred more proper. He also helps Batman out more, proving to be more than just a mere butler.

I did like the final battle, but it was so goddamn short. I can think of a dozen of so things they could’ve cut out and gave us a better battle at the end. Instead, it was a quick taste of “what could’ve been”.

After watching this, Marc and I had a terrible realization: We are going to have to watch this again for the podcast. Fuck.

Rating: 1.5 out of 5 Stars

This movie was such a disappointment. Believe me, no one wanted this movie to work more than I did. I went into it with an open mind, ignoring other critics. Now I think other critics were being too generous. I would have given this movie one star, if not for the saving grace of Batman and Wonder Woman.

3 comments

  1. I was worried that you were going to give this a good review… I should have know that you would critique this pice of shit the same way I did. Easily the second worst superhero movie of all time only behind Xmen Origins Wolverine 2! Wow they messed up what could have been DC’s answer to the avengers, but no … what a waste

    1. I was definitely one of the biggest disappointments I have ever experienced. Glad someone agrees because I have been getting crucified over this opinion

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